Communication Struggles Couples Therapy
Does It Feel like Talking Leads to Tension?
Healthy communication is the heartbeat of every strong relationship. But for many couples, conversations can quickly spiral into misunderstandings, arguments, or silence. Over time, poor communication creates distance, resentment, and feelings of disconnection.
Communication struggles couples therapy provides tools to break unhelpful patterns, improve understanding, and build healthier ways of talking and listening to each other.
Why Do Couples Struggle with Communication?
Even couples who love each other deeply can get stuck in negative cycles. Common issues include:
Frequent arguments that don’t get resolved
Feeling unheard or dismissed
One partner shutting down while the other pushes harder
Misunderstandings escalating into bigger conflicts
Difficulty expressing needs, feelings, or boundaries
Avoidance of important conversations out of fear of conflict
Tone, body language, or timing leading to hurt feelings
These struggles often leave partners feeling isolated, frustrated, or like they’re speaking different languages. Therapy helps identify the roots of these challenges and teaches healthier ways to connect.
What Happens in Communication Therapy for Couples?
Therapy sessions offer a structured, supportive space to practice new ways of relating. Couples learn to:
Identify Negative Cycles – Noticing when old patterns of criticism, defensiveness, or withdrawal take over.
Practice Active Listening – Hearing each other with empathy and validation, instead of judgment or interruption.
Express Needs Clearly – Learning to share feelings and requests without blame or escalation.
Use Conflict as Connection – Turning disagreements into opportunities to better understand each other.
Build Emotional Safety – Creating a space where both partners feel safe to speak openly.
Common Communication Mistakes Couples Make
Certain habits show up again and again in struggling relationships. The good news: once couples recognize these patterns, they can begin to change them.
Criticism: Attacking a partner’s character instead of addressing a behavior (“You never think about me” instead of “I feel hurt when you forget to call”).
Defensiveness: Responding with excuses or counter-attacks rather than listening, which blocks understanding.
Stonewalling: Shutting down or withdrawing from the conversation, leaving issues unresolved.
Contempt: Using sarcasm, eye-rolling, or dismissive language that erodes respect and trust.
Mind Reading: Assuming what your partner thinks or feels without asking directly.
Avoidance: Skipping important conversations to keep the peace, which often leads to resentment later.
In therapy, couples learn healthier alternatives to these patterns, replacing blame and withdrawal with curiosity, empathy, and openness.
Approaches Often Used
Therapists may draw on proven methods to strengthen communication, including:
Gottman Method Couples Therapy: Provides practical tools to reduce conflict, increase understanding, and improve dialogue.
Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT): Helps couples uncover the emotions beneath conflict and respond with empathy.
Nonviolent Communication (NVC): Teaches skills for expressing needs without blame and listening with compassion.
Attachment-Based Therapy: Examines how past attachment patterns influence communication today.
Mindfulness Practices: Helps partners stay present and calm during difficult conversations.
Inclusive and Affirming Care
Communication struggles can affect couples of all backgrounds — LGBTQIA+ partners, interracial and interfaith couples, BIPOC relationships, blended families, and long-term marriages. Therapy respects your unique identities, values, and cultural perspectives while helping you strengthen your bond.
Benefits of Couples Therapy for Communication
When couples commit to working on their communication, they often find:
Fewer arguments and more productive conversations
Greater understanding of each other’s needs and feelings
Reduced tension, blame, and defensiveness
Stronger teamwork and problem-solving
Increased closeness, trust, and intimacy
Want to learn more about Communication Struggles?
Read some of our recent articles on the topic:
Take the Next Step Together
Start Building Healthier Conversations
Poor communication doesn’t have to define your relationship. With guidance and practice, you and your partner can learn to speak — and listen — in ways that bring you closer together.
Schedule a consultation today to begin improving communication in your relationship.
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9350 Wilshire Blvd, Suite 212
Beverly Hills, CA 90212