OCD: What is an obsession?…What is a compulsion?…Why can’t I make ‘it’ stop?

Guest Author: Alyssa Habschmidt, M.A., AMFT

“I feel trapped in a cycle of doing or thinking about something over and over again.”

“My mind feels out of control.”

“Why can’t I stop?”

Does any of this sound familiar? These are common worries voiced by people who experience OCD. OCD may sound familiar to you. It’s certainly talked about on social media and used in common phrases such as “I’m so OCD” or “My cleaning is OCD”. However, OCD, otherwise known as Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, is a lot more intricate than needing to be tidy. It’s about having no control over your negative thoughts and being afraid that if you don’t repeatedly engage in certain thoughts or behaviors, something bad will happen.

We can all experience obsessive thoughts or compulsive behaviors. But if you have OCD, your fears about repetitive thoughts and behaviors make you very distressed. And they can have a big impact on your life.

OCD looks different for everyone. It’s not a type of “one-size fits all” experience. Let’s break it down:

Obsessions

Obsessions are unwelcome thoughts, feelings, urges, worries, or doubts that keep coming into your mind and are hard to manage. They may feel stuck in your mind, no matter what you do. You may worry about what they mean or why they won't go away. They can cause difficult feelings and doubts.

Compulsions

Compulsions are repetitive actions you feel compelled to do. Compulsions can be things you do physically, like repeatedly checking a door is locked. Or they can be “actions” in your head, like repeating a specific word to yourself. Obsessions and compulsions can sometimes interact, causing an OCD cycle. It’s that cycle you feel stuck in with no way out.

OCD Cycle

Obsessions can start with a difficult or unwelcome thought. This is sometimes called an intrusive thought. Everyone has intrusive thoughts. And if we accept them and leave them alone, they usually go away. But if you have OCD, you may start to worry about these thoughts and find yourself unable to control them. It can feel like your mind is holding you hostage. This increases your worry and can make you feel distressed and fearful.

Obsessions can lead to compulsions. The repetitive thought is so uncomfortable that you try to stop it with a behavior, but the behavior itself becomes uncontrollable. For example, you might worry that you wrote an email incorrectly. The worry becomes so distressing that you begin relentlessly thinking about the email (obsession). In an attempt to soothe this heightened worry, you may reread the email. And this might work at first. But the relief doesn't last. The thought pops back into our mind. The worry increases, and the rereading increases, and you cannot stop (compulsion).

Compulsions might make you feel better at first. But you may find the more you do a compulsion, the stronger the urge is to do it again. This cycle can feel unbreakable, leaving you feeling ashamed and emotionally exhausted.

Let me tell you a little secret…

The OCD cycle is a distraction from what’s really going on under the surface. You may engage in compulsions and obsessions to distance yourself from or ignore deeper, painful emotions. OCD is likely a sincere effort to protect yourself from fears of being emotionally overwhelmed. Think of it like a coping skill, but one that proves to be ineffective. To get relief from the cycle, you need to understand what’s activating it and what purpose it’s serving. What are you afraid of? What are you shielding yourself from? What painful emotions or past experiences are you distracting yourself from?

Final Thoughts

The goal isn’t to make ‘it’ stop, but rather to gain clarity and understand your deepest fears. From understanding, you can then move forward with self-awareness and develop greater autonomy in how you react to your thoughts and feelings. You gain greater control over your mind, hence allowing you to shift your behavior and break free from the OCD cycle.

If you’re seeking relief from OCD and would like to understand the impact it’s having on your life, reach out to us at pbapsychology.com/contact or call us at (310) 271 2275 to discuss scheduling an appointment with one of our experienced therapists. We’re here to help.