When couples first come into therapy, it’s common for sessions to begin with a focus on what each partner wishes the other would change. Partners may come in feeling unheard, and furthermore feeling criticized. The conversation can quickly fill with frustration and unmet expectations. In the beginning this is understandable—and can even be necessary— but it’s rarely where meaningful change happens. Real growth in couples therapy begins when each person starts turning the focus to their own patterns, their own responsibilities, and their own areas for growth.

Dating shows have become a cultural phenomenon, captivating audiences worldwide with their blend of romance, drama, and unexpected twists. From the thrill of vicarious experiences and the comfort of escapism to the insights gained through social comparison and the appeal of intimacy, these shows offer significant emotional and cognitive engagement.

Tom and Jerry. Sylvester and Tweety. Elmer Fudd and Bugs Bunny. These famous unlikely couples exemplify the tortured relationship prototype of pursuit and flight. Relationships like these may often reflect an underlying ambivalent attachment of childhood. Children who are ambivalently attached tend to be extremely suspicious of strangers. These children display considerable distress when separated from a parent or caregiver, but do not seem reassured or comforted by the return of the parent. In some cases, the child might passively reject the parent by refusing comfort, or may openly display direct aggression toward the parent.

Some people struggle in relationships. They just do. There are a few that can't quite seem to manage to begin them, and there are those who just can't seem to manage to sustain them. If you are one of the folks for whom this is true, here are a few things to think about.